School is out and Grace will be home any minute. The minute hands on my clock tick away as I try to be fast at finishing what I’m working on. Grace bursts in the door and I just have a little bit more to do so I wave a cheerful but distracted hand her way. She walks over and gives me a forgiving hug and starts telling me a story while I keep tapping away at my keyboard rushing to finish the email I’m working on.
I don’t like for this to be the way she comes home to me each day but sometimes it is. I half way listen to her and at some point she finishes her story and leaves the room. I’m not proud of these moments. It’s not how I want life to be.
Sometimes business and family gets all mixed up and the both end up only getting half of what I really want to give them.
When I become aware of what’s happening, I stand up. I walk into the room she’s in and I hug her and look at her and give her all of my love. I try to send it to her with my whole self as I 100% listen to her. Soaking up her words, laughing in all of the right places because I’m really there with her, and asking the questions that show I really want to know.
Do everything with love. And if you mess up, it’s ok. Just start over or stand up and walk in the other room to the person that matters to you. Keep it easy to love. Let your heart stay open.
The thing is the person your heart is most likely to stay open to is you. Believe me. I know that’s the way it is. As soon as you start giving only half your heart you also start telling yourself how you should be different, how you’re not measuring up, how some other mom wouldn’t have done that.
Here’s the thing. She probably has done that. You’ve done that. I’ve done that.
Stop should-ing yourself and go be your real you.
Go be the part of you that really wants to love because that’s the big part of you. You deserve to love yourself and to give yourself grace and know that it doesn’t matter what you should have done.
It’s the same way in your business or in your job. You’re building something wonderful…just like you’re building awesome kids or a great marriage. And then the shoulds come in and they steal away your inspired ways to love. They steal away the deeply wonderful part of you.
Let the shoulds float away up into the atmosphere. See them float away on wings. Wave to them and let your shoulders feel lighter and your neck feel less heavy.
Do everything with love.
Love is easy. It’s easier than shoulds.
It’s the real part of you.
When you connect with that real part of YOU your creativity flows, problems become opportunities, and people become allies in both your family and your business.
Three ways to do everything with LOVE:
1. Give yourself time to be inspired by the part of you that leads with love. Set aside 10 minutes when you feel fresh to write about a time you felt really inspired. Use those feelings to address whatever issue you’re facing right now.
2. Start acting in love. Seriously! Act like you’re in love with people, your business, your spouse. Do what people do who are in love. Smile at everyone. A big smile that makes your eyes crinkle and your teeth show. Give unprompted compliments that pop into your head.
3. When you meet someone or someone arrives in your home or at your studio, act really excited to see them! Make a big deal of them arriving. Not just guests but your own family members. You know how much your dog LOVES it when you get home? Take your cues from him. Have fun with it and watch how much it makes them smile, too. Right before someone in your family gets home, turn on some dance music and welcome them home with a dance party.
The best time to start doing everything with love? Today. Especially if you’re not feeling like it. I know it’s hard when you just want to be grumpy or bummed out. Studies have shown that smiling and putting your heart into dancing, etc can actually change your body chemistry and make you feel more happy and more feelings of love.
Doing everything with love changes everything for me. It changes the way I see my family, the way I work in my business, and the way I serve my clients.
Love is worth it.
Davina Fear is a Business Coach for Creative Women who want to be more fearless in their life and business. She’s also a Familyness Adventurer and Life Story Photographer. She may have a Parks and Recreation addiction. Literally. Wish you could figure out the whole business and trying-to-be-a-mom-too thing? She would love to help you. Contact her HERE.