May 15, 2013

Leaving on a jet plane…

Without the kids.

The rain is pounding on the windshield as the wipers vigorously try to make the way clear for me to see.  Grace is in the seat behind the passengers side of our mini van.  We are talking away about what’s happening at school and what her best friend will think of her hair being straight….

I pull up in front of the school, ready for her to hop out.  She isn’t leaning forward to give me a little kiss before she opens the van door.  I look back and she’s in tears.

Mike and I are leaving in a couple of days for London and I know that she’s already thinking about it and how much she’s going to miss us.  She’s thinking about not being able to hug me everyday and how I won’t be there when she gets home from school.  My heart breaks a little bit for her.

We talk for a few minutes. The late bell rings as we sit with the rain plop, plopping on the top of the van. I say something silly that’s funny only between the two of us.  It breaks her from her sadness long enough to help her regain her composure and be ready to walk into the school.

I give her a hug and a kiss.  She jumps out of the van and swiftly walks to the front door of the school.

As I watch her I know that I need to do something to make the distance feel less distant while we are gone.

Are you leaving on an extended trip soon without your kids?

Here are some little things we’ve done while we’ve been away:

I put notes in my kids’ lunches everyday.  Before we left I wrote teach of the kids notes for everyday that we are gone for Mike’s mom/my mom to put in their lunches.

The day before we left I sent a box full of hearts through the mail.  In it was a note that said: Put these hearts around the house so that when you see them you’ll know that we love you and are thinking of you.

At other times, when we’ve left for shorter trips, I’ve put hearts around the house in lots of different places to surprise the kids when they open up a cereal box, the shower curtain, the refrigerator, etc.

Every time we go to a place where we can purchase postcards we buy one for each of the kids and send them off so that they can get mail from up while we are gone (and probably a few days after we get back).

A couple of nights a week I post pictures to Emmett’s private messages on Facebook. I include a little note about what we discovered through out the day with each of the photos.  It’s a great way to take the kids on our adventure with us.  It makes them feel like they are getting the personal tour at the same time.

This is the first time we’ve been away from our kids this long.  We’ve gone away for a few nights quite a few times but in 16 years we’ve never left our kids for 2 weeks.  Doing some things to help them with the distance has been fun.  I also like that they’ve gotten a bit of a travel log from us while we’ve been gone.

What do you do for your kids when you leave them behind to go on a little adventure with your spouse?

 

Posted May 15, 2013 by Davina Fear. Filed under A Happy Heart, Everyday Fun | Leave a Comment
April 30, 2013

My Un-balanced Life.

I get a little obsessed.

A little crazy.

In the words of Nacho Libre, “And over there is a crazy lady.”

He’s talking about me.

Emmett’s 16th birthday has been on the calendar for oh…say…16 YEARS.

And when do I start planning it?  I started thinking about it a month or so before his birthday.  We talked about if it should be a surprise or not a surprise.  Two weeks before the day of the party?  That’s when I got to the planning place.  (andddd…ummm….that’s when the invitation should have already been out…I realize this.)

I was trying to make decisions about what to do.  And I wanted this party to be amazing since we only do big parties every 5 years.

This would be the last friends party before leaving home.  It had to be off the charts.

And so…I became obsessed.

But that’s kind of my thing.  Obsession.

Occasionally.

I started coming up with ideas for a Nacho Libre and Napoleon Dynamite party once we decided surprise parties aren’t quite all they’re cracked up to be.

And…

That was when the true crazy, focused, overboard lady came out to play.

I think my family saw that crazed look in in my eye and knew that only one thing mattered.  Emmett’s party.

Every living moment would be devoted to Emmett’s party.

And thankfully, I have a family that’s down with that.

They are happy to jump on board to help make things happen, they get excited with me.

Together we worked on the little details of Emmet’s Napoleon vs. Nacho party.

Emma did a drawing of Trish (from Napoleon Dynamite)

Mike sketched my vision of the invitation (and did it perfectly)

Miriam cut fringes for hanging in the back yard

Emmett went to Party City and Goodwill with me to find just the right wigs for costumes and and the perfect recreation clothes for Nacho.

Grace spent hours in fabric stores finding just the right color nun fabric for Encarnacion and crosses for necklaces

Mike and Emmett shopped for tatter tots and corn on the cob to put on a stick

 

It became a family obsession…

and everything else went out the door.  We gave up stuff for this grand, chaotic adventure…there was no bedtime reading, no dinner around the dinner table, and all surfaces in the kitchen were covered with party creations.  Everything was secondary to Emmett’s party.

The whole week was not balanced.  Not even close.  It was not the way we envision balanced people living their lives.

But is was living!

It was exciting and fun and thrilling to be on a mission to make something grand happen…TOGETHER.

It was familyness in an amazing way! It was ugly and messy and crazy and our house was trashed and our life was one minute of chaos blurred into the next minute of chaos.

And sometimes that just works!

The thing is, as moms we sometimes think that there’s a perfect way to do mom-hood.  We have a vision in our head of what it’s supposed to look like.  That dreamy, fairy tale, looking thing, in our mind, isn’t what we have and so the way we measure our life ends up always coming up short.

But what if the way you do mom-hood is already awesome? 

What if who you are, the way your day goes, the way you spend your time already measured up to what you want your family to look like? Who you want to be?  What if you saw all of the good you are doing instead of all of the ways you’re falling short?

The week of Emmett’s birthday I could totally have looked at it and seen all of the ways that I fell short of my perfect mom dream/fantasy I have in my head…the one where my kids go to bed every night at 8pm, I get up at 5am and have devotional time, I work perfectly from 9am-2pm after I go running for an hour and eat a perfectly healthy breakfast.

Honestly, though, if I’m waiting for 7 days in a row to go like that, I’m going to miss most of my life…and all of the awesomeness that happens everyday.

Realizing that even that crazy week of chaos and planning a birthday party had lots of familyness in it (and the kind of familyness I love), makes even the days that don’t come anywhere near the ‘perfect mom-hood day’  somehow end up being perfect days anyway…

What does one of your non-perfect/chaos days look like?  What perfection ideas are you fighting against?

Posted April 30, 2013 by Davina Fear. Filed under A Happy Heart | Comments (3)
March 13, 2013

The Familyness Photo Workshop begins March 17th

viewing this post in your inbox?  click here to view the video!)

You’ll learn how to take great pictures of your family, get less stressed about it, have more fun, and feel more familyness.

Register now for The Familyness Photo Workshop!

(use the code FPW25 to save 25% until Friday, March 15th)

Class begins on March 17th.

“I was actually surprised how much I learned. I really thought going into this that I wasn’t going to learn much just because I thought it was going to be pretty basic but WOW! I learned more in this workshop than I have learned I think in any workshop. This workshop truly made me a better photographer.  Best money I have ever spent on photography education!”
~Laura Turnbough

“I am so inspired! Thank you so much! I am not a great photographer by any means, but I love capturing my kids in their daily life.  This workshop is already helping me so much!!”
~Caila

 

I believe this workshop can change the world, one family at a time.

See you in class!

 

xoxo,

Davina

 

Davina Fear is a Familyness Adventurer.  She enjoys a bowl of Lucky Charms occasionally.  Her favorite part of breakfast, though, is eating it with one of her favorite people.She blogs at davinafear.com and teaches The Familyness Photo Workshop.

Posted March 13, 2013 by Davina Fear. Filed under Featured | Leave a Comment
March 10, 2013

Before and After: The Familyness Photo Workshop

 

How you see your family can change you.

This workshop is much more than photography…it’s about you and it’s about your familyness.

Each of the BEFORE and AFTER photos below show what changed in the way these moms were photographing their kids and that it changed their hearts and the way they see their children.

Teri

[a small glimpse into her experience in The Family Photo Workshop]

 Always wanting to be a great parent, now Teri feels even more connected than ever to her kids…

“[Since taking the workshop] I’m more patient…with my characters, with the clutter or lighting or whatever else isn’t “perfect” in the background, and with myself. I actually am not coming to the shoot with a prepackaged plan anymore. I come with…a desire to have fun. It’s nice to come into a shoot with no expectations other than wanting to document life as it really happens…even on a planned shoot. And sometimes the results are incredible. ““I’m just better at allowing my kids to be who they are and meeting them at that place. I signed up just to learn some “tricks” to take better pictures of my kids, and instead, ended up with not just better pictures, but a better relationship too…and that matters even more to me. “
~Teri

 

Jumping on the bed

When Weslee saw the [after] picture, he said “Wow! Look how high I flew!” and then he did it over and over and over again. What was going to be a brief moment of fun before bed, turned into 30 minutes of quality family time, me getting awesome pictures of the kids, and the kids feeling like real, live superheroes.

Before the workshop: I would have seen the moment, realized I wanted a picture, and honestly, just snapped from the doorway, standing on my feet…too preoccupied with getting the kids to bed to really take the time to photograph it.

After the workshop: This picture puts me in their world!!

  • photos below

Laura

[a small glimpse of her experience in The Familyness Photo Workshop]

 

Swing~

Before the workshop: I would have just found a good spot to see her and taken the picture.
After the workshop: I really wanted to [give the feeling of] swinging with her.

  • photos below

 

Laura’s perspective changed not just behind the camera but in front of it…

 

“I feel more patient with my kids. Really learning [about] my second daughter has tremendously helped our relationship. I see her much differently now and I know how to address her issues better instead of just getting really frustrated and frazzled with her.”

What you’re wondering:

What’s the course like?

Each Sunday you’ll receive a video lesson with a fun assignment for the week. On Wednesday, you’ll receive another video lesson, encouragement and an Inspiration Card.

You’ll get to be part of a private Facebook group for our workshop where you’ll get support and ideas on how to have great familyness and make great photo opportunities

Also included! A LIVE webinar where we’ll have a question and answer time together with our workshop group

Is this workshop for me?

Yes! If you wish you could do a better job of getting natural photographs of your family instead of the standard picture of everyone posed and smiling in front of the amusement park gates (or similar types of pictures) this is the workshop for you. We’ll be covering how to get the real stories that happen in your family everyday…the details that you’ll miss when they’ve grown.

If you are a professional photographer thinking about making the switch to photographing families or you would like to know how to take a more natural, relaxed approach to a family session. Photographers have bee loving this course, feeling super inspired, and reconnecting with the people they love most in a really meaningful way. Moms who also have a business and feel overworked are loving this class the most!

This workshop is for the mom who wants to take better pictures of her kids AND ALSO for the professional photographer who is struggling to get great images of their own family (either because of lack of time or frustration).

 

Register for The Familyness Photo Workshop here!!

 

Posted March 10, 2013 by Davina Fear. Filed under Featured | Comments (2)
February 26, 2013

The Backwards Birthday Party

 

doing something new.

A couple of years ago my girls had their 10th birthday.  At our house we have big parties (definition: with friends) every 5 years.  The in between years are family parties.  So…we like to be extra fun and creative when it comes to the big FIVE!

The girls came up with a birthday party that was completely different and unexpected!

When they first told me they wanted to do a backwards party I thought, “That’s not going to be cute.”  But it was!  I loved creating this awesome party with the girls.  We had so much fun thinking up backwards games and all of the things that we could do in a backwards way.  I LOVE getting to be with my sweet missies.  Happy Birthday!!

Here are some things we did:

The invitations had everything spelled backwards and had to be read in a mirror

Everyone wore at least 2 items of clothing backwards

We sat under the table instead of on top of it.

Colored coloring book pages outside of the lines instead of inside

Played hide and seek backwards (sardines)

Instead of eating cake last we ate it first (before lunch)

We made gumball necklaces instead of chewing gum

Played games blindfolded

Decorated with balloons hanging down from the ceiling instead of letting them float up

Made birthday banners that were spelled backwards

And had a fun photobooth (pictures coming on Monday)

 

Some party details:

Gumball Necklaces: One Charming Party

Pretty Party Supplies: Shop Sweet Lulu

 

One of the things we love about parties the most is the familyness that it promotes.  We have fun getting to create the invitations, making the little party cups, going online and finding just the exact details that we want, and then on the day of the party hanging everything up and getting it all looking festive together.  The best part is that working together makes the load lighter and more fun to do. Stepping back and taking in the sight of what we created together is part of the what creates such fun memories for us!

How does your family do parties?

Have you signed up for the Familyness Fort yet?

 
(a little secret: everyone on the list will be getting the FREE How to take great photos with your Camera Phone mini class…coming soon!)

 

Davina Fear loves an awesome small party with the people she loves most.  She also loves coming up with fun dates for Friday nights with Hot Guy. She totally got lucky in love.

Have you checked out her Familyness Photo Workshop? The next one will be starting soon!

Posted February 26, 2013 by Davina Fear. Filed under Family Celebrations | Leave a Comment
Past Adventure, please