April 16, 2015

For Your Business and Your Family

theonething_davinafear_1How to do everything.

School is out and Grace will be home any minute.  The minute hands on my clock tick away as I try to be fast at finishing what I’m working on.  Grace bursts in the door and I just have a little bit more to do so I wave a cheerful but distracted hand her way.  She walks over and gives me a forgiving hug and starts telling me a story while I keep tapping away at my keyboard rushing to finish the email I’m working on.

I don’t like for this to be the way she comes home to me each day but sometimes it is.  I half way listen to her and at some point she finishes her story and leaves the room.  I’m not proud of these moments.  It’s not how I want life to be.

Sometimes business and family gets all mixed up and the both end up only getting half of what I really want to give them.

When I become aware of what’s happening, I stand up.  I walk into the room she’s in and I hug her and look at her and give her all of my love.  I try to send it to her with my whole self as I 100% listen to her.  Soaking up her words, laughing in all of the right places because I’m really there with her, and asking the questions that show I really want to know.

Do everything with love.  And if you mess up, it’s ok.  Just start over or stand up and walk in the other room to the person that matters to you.  Keep it easy to love.  Let your heart stay open.

The thing is the person your heart is most likely to stay open to is you.  Believe me.  I know that’s the way it is.  As soon as you start giving only half your heart you also start telling yourself how you should be different, how you’re not measuring up, how some other mom wouldn’t have done that.

Here’s the thing.  She probably has done that. You’ve done that.  I’ve done that.

It’s ok.

Stop should-ing yourself and go be your real you.

Go be the part of you that really wants to love because that’s the big part of you.  You deserve to love yourself and to give yourself grace and know that it doesn’t matter what you should have done.

It’s the same way in your business or in your job.  You’re building something wonderful…just like you’re building awesome kids or a great marriage.  And then the shoulds come in and they steal away your inspired ways to love.  They steal away the deeply wonderful part of you.

Let the shoulds float away up into the atmosphere.  See them float away on wings.  Wave to them and let your shoulders feel lighter and your neck feel less heavy.

Do everything with love.

Love is easy.  It’s easier than shoulds.

It’s the real part of  you.

When you connect with that real part of  YOU your creativity flows, problems become opportunities, and people become allies in both your family and your business.

Three ways to do everything with LOVE:

1.  Give yourself time to be inspired by the part of you that leads with love.  Set aside 10 minutes when you feel fresh to write about a time you felt really inspired.  Use those feelings to address whatever issue you’re facing right now.

2.  Start acting in love.  Seriously!  Act like you’re in love with people, your business, your spouse.  Do what people do who are in love.  Smile at everyone.  A big smile that makes your eyes crinkle and your teeth show.  Give unprompted compliments that pop into your head.

 3.  When you meet someone or someone arrives in your home or at your studio, act really excited to see them!  Make a big deal of them arriving.  Not just guests but your own family members.  You know how much your dog LOVES it when you get home?  Take your cues from him.  Have fun with it and watch how much it makes them smile, too.  Right before someone in your family gets home, turn on some dance music and welcome them home with a dance party.

The best time to start doing everything with love?  Today.  Especially if you’re not feeling like it.  I know it’s hard when you just want to be grumpy or bummed out.  Studies have shown that smiling and putting your heart into dancing, etc can actually change your body chemistry and make you feel more happy and more feelings of love.

Doing everything with love changes everything for me.  It changes the way I see my family, the way I work in my business, and the way I serve my clients.

Love is worth it.



davina_selfie_squareDavina Fear is a Business Coach for Creative Women who want to be more fearless in their life and business.  She’s also a Familyness Adventurer and Life Story Photographer. She may have a Parks and Recreation addiction.  Literally. Wish you could figure out the whole business and trying-to-be-a-mom-too thing?  She would love to help you.  Contact her HERE.

March 26, 2015

You are exhausted



You change diapers all day long. You’re tired.

You chase toddlers who say no. Make that exhausted.

You work hard to support, love, and help your family. Everyday.

You are exhausted. Wait. Did you already say that? You can’t remember.

Your little kids get babysat by the TV. (So you can have a moment to go pee by yourself…and maybe have 2 minutes of quiet where no one is asking you for something.)

When I talk to you about your family being photographed, you usually say that there’s nothing special that your family does…unless chaos and spilled milk and cheerios in noses counts. You know it probably does but you’re thinking, “Do I really want to remember THIS STUFF a bunch of years from now? All I’m thinking about right now is the next time I’ll get two hours of sleep in a row.”

So having me photograph you all day long sounds more exhausting than it’s worth.

You’re also thinking, “My little kids do funny stuff but they also freak out and throw tantrums! We aren’t cute all of the time and we don’t live in a cute, tidy house. We aren’t doing awesome things all of the time! I’m pretty sure you’re going to see my messy house and my kids throw fits if you come photograph us all day long. And I think that’s going to make me feel more exhausted. Plus, my husband totally doesn’t like to get his picture taken.”

I hear you.

I also know you’re thinking about the time your little 2 year old came and put their arms around you completely unexpectedly and made you feel like the luckiest woman alive.

And you’re thinking of the time when everyone was getting along for 2 minutes and it felt like heaven walked in the door.

You’re thinking of how sweet it is to have their hand reach up and grab yours.

They are little tiny moments of your day. Punctuation marks on all of the crazy just to remind you in little ways that you’ve got something good going on.

Those exhausting moments of your life and the punctuation marks are all the pieces of the life and people and family you’re creating.

I get it. I have four kids of my own. I know kids fight and argue and throw temper tantrums and crazytown happens everyday…lots of times in a day.

Your life isn’t always going to be like this (I heard that sigh of relief. lol). It is going to change. And believe it or not…you’ll want to be in the pictures of this life you’re in right now and you’ll want to have all of the crazy and the awesome. Now and later (even if you don’t like the candy by the same name). Trust me. I’m on the other side and I don’t have a Day in the Life session like this. I wish it did.

And before you argue with me about it anymore…all of the photos in this email are from a mom who is in your shoes. Her little kids fight over books and spill milk and eat food off the kitchen counter when they think no one is looking.

If you’re still not convinced, take a look at Alisa’s slideshow from her Day in the Life session. Her day was packed full of crazy (and awesome). And fights and deciding who to help and who could wait. What do you think?

Here’s her slideshow (it’s desktop and laptop friendly):

I promise you, your familyness is more awesome, even in it’s not perfect state, than you think! Please give me a call (704-964-5882 or CLICK HERE and schedule a time to chat). I want to talk to YOU!!

This is what Alisa said about her session:
“What I loved most about our experience in having Davina photograph our little family was her ability to instinctively capture us in our own element–the rolling laughter over something silly at the dinner table as well as the cries and apologies over toy troubles. The tiny hands helping make breakfast to milk messes from an overly-confident 2 year-old. Davina was naturally involved in every minute of the photoshoot–quietly snapping away capturing our family as we really are–and what we love most about being together. I always love snuggling all together on the bed to read bedtime stories in a British accent, and other times I like to look back and laugh at the mission it was to dress three littles under the age of 4. Davina beautifully preserved what would have been only mere memories into a brilliant story. ”

And here is what another mom said about her session (who also has little kids like Alisa):

“Seeing our session with you makes me feel so much better about those parts that aren’t perfect. I actually like my family MORE after watching this because I don’t feel so guilty that we aren’t smiles all the time!” -Brooke

PS I’ll be in Northern California from April 10-16th next month. I’d love to photograph someone you know from there. Will you please share this with your family or friends who live there? Thank you so much!youareexhausted_davinafear_dayinthelife_1


March 20, 2015

You are boring



You run your kids in the car all afternoon. Boring.

Your family is on their iPads every time you get home. Boring.

You’re mostly just picking up after your little (or big) kids. Boring.

When I talk to you about your family being photographed, you usually say that there’s nothing special that your family does. You think there will be nothing to photograph. In your mind you think, “Oh my gosh, she will be so bored if she comes to my house and sees what my family is really like. We are completely boring.”

I hear you saying, “But I don’t have little kids anymore! We aren’t cute and we don’t live in a cute house. We aren’t doing awesome things all of the time! I’m pretty sure you’re going to be bored to tears if you come photograph us all day long.”

I hear you.

Just last night I was on the phone with another mom who was telling me the same thing. And then I asked her about what her day is like when her kids get out of school. And you know what? Once we started talking, she got so excited about the possibilities of what there is to photograph in her awesome life and family!

And guess what! She said everything you’re saying in your head! All of that stuff about how boring she said they were completely went out the window once we got to talking!

I promise you that if you get on the phone with me your boring life will be transformed.

And before you argue with me about it anymore…all of the photos in this email are from a mom who said the exact same things about being a boring family.

If you’re still not convinced, take a look at Melody’s slideshow from her Day in the Life session. She was super worried about me being bored and that her family does nothing and that I would have nothing to photograph. What do you think?

Here’s her slideshow (it’s desktop and laptop friendly):

I promise you, your familyness is more awesome than you think! Please give me a call (704-964-5882 or CLICK HERE and schedule a time to chat). I want to talk to YOU!!

This is what Melody said about her session:
“I am thankful that my Holiday gift to myself this year was a day-in-the-life session with Davina Fear. It’s something I’ve meant to do since my children were tiny and I wish I’d done every single year. I’m glad I stopped waiting to lose 20 pounds, until my house was clean enough, until I painted the hallway, until I replaced the carpet, until… whatever excuse I used that week – because this is the best gift I’ve ever given myself – a day in our life – tears and smiles and everything in between…”

PS I’ll be in Northern California from April 10-16th next month. I’d love to photograph someone you know from there. Will you please share this with your family or friends who live there? Thank you so much!


March 19, 2015

Would you like a few free tips?


some free tips for you!

Over the last couple of weeks I’ve been creating some videos over on my Facebook page.  If you’ve not been following me there, I wanted to make sure you get access to them here.   Just click on any of the videos below to be able to watch!

Here are a few things I cover in under 3 minutes:

*why your commitments are so important
*what is none your business
*how to keep from being overwhelmed
*the time I lost my client’s photos
*what to do with mistakes
*your doubts and weaknesses


Which tip resonates most with you?  I would love to hear which one helps you most.




davina_bio_photo_3_squareDavina Fear is Business Coach for Creative Women who want to be more fearless in their life and business.  She’s also a Familyness Adventurer and Life Story Photographer. She has a Parks and Recreation addiction.  Literally. Want to talk?  Contact her HERE.


March 18, 2015

How building a fort relates to your business



I love to build forts. I have a feeling you’ve built plenty of forts in your time, too!

Do yours fall down? Do you give up on your fort when it’s fallen down for the umptenth time? Do your kids beg and beg you to help them make a bigger fort when their efforts have come crashing down?

Here’s what’s happened with our forts…

For a long time we tied them up with twine and push pins and used furniture to keep them up.

The problem is, they kept falling down. Most of the time we’d just go with it, fix it, and keep playing but sometimes it was frustrating and would happen at the worst possible time…when we’d just settled in to watch a movie or play a game.

We decided on a NEW tactic for our fort building!

Instead of the twine and tacks that we always use we decided to make a more permanent change to fix our falling fort problem. At first, when Hot Guy suggested it, I was like, “You want to do what?? That will look terrible when we don’t have a fort! That will mess up the wall!”

The more I thought about it, the more I knew that was the ideal (I may even concede to: awesomest idea ever!) solution to our constant problem. Yay!

The solution you ask? Eye hooks installed into our walls and cotton clothes line rope.

Since our new adjustment…our fort hasn’t fallen once!

My daughter likes to practice her viola in the fort. My kids play games and do their homework in the fort…and of course, movie watching is way better in a fort. ;)

Here’s why I’m sharing this with you

Two reasons…
1. I can build forts and spend quality time with my kids because I’ve created a business that allows me to have free time when I need it and be booked with clients when I need that. I know you want that kind of business, too. I also know you’ve had times where you’ve felt guilty about the mom part and the business part and you’ve had moments when you’ve wondered if this is all worth it.

2. Building a business is a lot of work. You’ve put a lot of time and effort into it. You’re doing ok at this business stuff, your photography is good, but you really thought you would be making more money and feeling less stress. Now you’re about to go into busy season and you’re either not booked enough or your feeling like you’re taking a deep breath and hoping you come out on the other side of this craziness in one piece.

I want you to be able to stop feeling that crazy desperate feeling in your guts, chest, and head.

I want you to love the time you’re with your kids and love the time you’re working on your business.

I want you to feel less stress around what you’ve created and more freedom.

I want you to feel like you’re making a difference for your family and for your clients and not losing yourself somewhere in the middle of all of it.

Just out of sheer need to show you how to change your tide, make the money flow all the time, and not feel torn between your business and family, I’m going to host a one day online intensive.



I’m packing this day with everything I learned, all my tricks, and a ton of extras so you can really feel the value and get the most out of this day.

youVIPWhy this online intensive?

Because it’s been designed for you. It’s exactly what you need right now to take what I know is amazing talent and get to a new level.


What do you get?

▪ An all day experience with me where we will talk about what you’re afraid of in your business, what your dreams are, why you think you’re not getting what you want, and how you want to step up and be more of the real you
▪ Pre-intensive private phone call where we will narrow in on exactly what you want a 90 day plan around. I’m not messing around here! We are going to get you some awesome results! :)
▪ TWO Post VIP day group phone calls so that you don’t feel like you’re alone trying to make this awesome stuff happen. You need someone to hold your hand, I’ll be there.
▪ No travel fees, hotels, airline tickets, babysitters, expensive dinners, etc. Yay! You get to just get a babysitter for one day and make some pivotal changes in a 5 hour time frame. It’s going to be awesome!
▪ 90-day marketing plan for creating and finding your ideal client and making more money in ways that you love and feel authentic to YOU. Who doesn’t want that? That sounds way more fun than doing someone else’s plan, right?

What’s it going to cost you?


I can’t wait to be personally talking with you about your business.  As we work together you’re going to be having AHA moments and light bulb moments and ‘I-can’t-wait-to-get-started’ moments.

**You’re going to LOVE this experience!** Let’s get started! [CLICK HERE] to join me.

Here’s what this super awesome day will include!!

▪ Step-by-step instructions for creating your own 90-Day Plan

▪ Help knowing where and how to find your clients in your area
▪ Creating your own easy to follow marketing plan
▪ You will know exactly what to do next in your business
▪ A private, personal phone call to assess your business before the VIP day
▪ Two phone calls after the Group VIP Day to make sure you’re still on track and address any questions you have once you put your plan into action *have tools for creating new clients and marketing plans on your own!

You ready? I know I am. Let’s make it happen now! [CLICK HERE.]

Does a group experience sound not your style at all? Please write to me by responding to this email and I’d be happy to set up your own personal day with just you and me. :)

Questions? Call me or email me (davina at davinafear dot com). I’d be happy to talk with you. You can reach me at 704-964-5882.

Here’s to your business + life + family + inspiration meeting up with an awesome action plan!

 Virtual Group VIP Day


PS Just as a quick FYI since I’ve had some people writing and hoping they can get in on the ‘next one.’ This is the first time I’ve ever offered this Group VIP experience and I don’t know, at this point, if I’ll do it again. I don’t have another one on my calendar right now. Plus…what are you waiting for? Where could you be a few months from now if you sign up? Where will you be a few months from now if you don’t sign up?


2012-09-05_1346872111Davina Fear is a Familyness Adventurer.  She believes it adds magic to dinner time to drink chilled water out of a vintage lemonade bottle she and Mike received during their adventure in England.  She also thinks that mistakes are inevitable (and helpful) and she’s getting pretty used to being ok with them.

She blogs at davinafear.com , is a creative business coach helping women photographers like you to build a family and business with less stress and more “I LOVE this!!!” in their life.