- Required plugin "Meks Easy Photo Feed Widget" is required. Please install the plugin here. or read more detailed instruction about How to setup the plugin here
This guide will help you discover ways you can connect with each of your children every day. It will also help you create space for a kid date with each of your children at least once a month, how to get kid dates started (and consistent) and some ideas for kid dates you can do together.
Connecting with your kids will take some planning. Many people think that moments will just happen and that they’ll see them when they present themselves. When you’re crazy busy with chaos all around you it’s difficult to pay that much attention.
A big part of making Kid Dates happen is if YOU think they are FUN! If you don’t think it’s fun, you probably won’t make time for it. It is possible to go on kids dates that are fun for you AND for your child.
There are lots of ways to make it fun for both of you and I’ll list a few here…
**Both of you can each make a list of things you’d like to do. From the two lists pull off the items that you both said you would like to do. Most weeks you can make that the choices that your child picks from.
**Alternate weeks for who gets to pick what you do. They get the chance to choose and you get the chance to choose.
**Kid dates are also an excellent time to introduce your child to new things like theatre, ballet, rock climbing, photography, water skiing, art classes, pottery, football, baseball, etc. When you introduce your child to something that you love, make sure to have their introduction be at their level and in a way that they’ll get excited about it. If you want to introduce your child to pottery, start off by letting them get a chance to paint a piece of pottery first. They’ll see how fun it was to create something and enjoy having it next to their bed as a reminder of your time together. From that point, then you could go backward (depending on their skill level) until they are sitting at a pottery wheel creating their own pieces. If you’d like to introduce them to baseball, having their first experience be a full 9 inning game may make them dread the next one. Start small. Get a baseball and bat (or a tee-ball set up) and just have fun, the two of you, hitting baseballs to the pitchers mound.
Creating a simple plan (and one that is just part of your everyday life) is what will work best for you. Keep it easy and do-able. Making pie in the sky plans will only make you angry when they don’t pan out and make everyone else frustrated.
This guide shares with you how you can be more connected with your kids, how to get kid dates started (and consistent) and some ideas for kid dates you can do together.
Three ideas for connecting daily
1. Be aware of building moments into your day. Ask yourself, “what do I do every day that could become a way to connect with each of my kids?” You could write a short, simple note to your child and put it in their lunch everyday. If you are too crazy, in the morning before school, you could write them the night before or write them all on Sunday so they are ready to go into lunch boxes as everyone rushes out the door.
2. Create routines that foster time to really BE with the person who is next to you. You could enjoy process of brushing your child’s hair each day and see it as an opportunity to connect. Hair-brushing is one of those mundane jobs we all see as something that must get done before the kids jump on the bus. This one simple moment in the day, that you decide is going to be your connecting moment, will make a big difference. (If hair-brushing isn’t something that happens in your home you could consider things like dinner time, bedtime, homework time, etc.)
3. Make a time on your calendar for each person in your family. Decide that you’ll set aside time for them on a specific day and time every month. This is where kid dates come into play!
Kid dates are one of my favorite ways to create an opportunity to connect with each of my kids.
Step 1: Decide on a specific day for kid dates. Kids love to know what they can plan on. Dates could be every Saturday or every other Monday. Once we decided on when kid dates needed to happen it created a connecting point each month that we could all count on. I do kid dates every Tuesday right after school. While, Mike does kid dates by taking one person with him when he travels. Choose something that works for you and at a time when you won’t dread them.
Step 2: Determine what type of format you want to do for dates. Your format could be going out together or it could be staying at home while everyone else goes out.
For us, we go out while every one stays home. Together, the kids and I created a list of possible kid dates. We take our little book with us on the date if we didn’t get to choose before we leave (and to use as a back up if plans fall through). I always let the kids choose their date (I remind them to make a choice on Monday night). Typically, I let them know about what we can spend on our date and then they pick something that falls within those guidelines.
Mike keeps it super simple. The kids ride with him to his meetings, they get lunch together at a place of their choice and they drive home. The rides are usually a couple of hours so they chat or the kids read aloud to Mike the book they are currently devouring.
During our kid dates I always ask the kids specifically about: their friends, how they are feeling about our family including what they like and if there is anything they would like to see me do better as a mom, their relationship with God, and how things are going at school.
Step 3: Block that time off every week, nothing takes precedence. Making this time a priority sends a message to your kids. It let’s them know that you are willing to set aside time for them…and only them. You create a space where they know that they will be safe to share anything on their mind. Staying true to that commitment will invite them to share more of themselves with you. Kid date time is sacred time. Your kids (and you) will begin to adore that time together. It’s super fun to try new things together and have a story that is just yours, one that only the two of you have experienced together. You’d be surprised how much it matters.
More on how we made kid dates work:
Steps and approach to having great kid dates
every girl loves a kid date with her dad
fun relationships between siblings
When Emmett was little it was so easy for us to put our time into him. We talked to him, took him almost everywhere with us…our world revolved around him. He was the smartest, most talented kid ever! (obviously)
Along came our twins, Miriam and Emma, and in one fell swoop we were parents of three, and soon after, Grace arrived. Suddenly, spending one on one time seemed more impossible and, most often, it seemed like individual moments just didn’t happen. We were juggling too much.
Now that we have four kids who we want to stay connected with, time feels more limited than ever. We’ve found that making a plan, blocking off time, and creating connecting moments that happen casually each day are super important. Research has even shown that private parent-child time can increase self-esteem and social confidence, especially in teens.
I know it may seem daunting to try to do this all at once. Please know that this has been a process for us; the important part is in the trying.
Be patient with yourself. Be patient with trying to find the exact day and time that will work for you and your family. And be patient when you fall short of whatever perfection you have in your mind.
It will all work out and what matters is that you are seeing and practicing ways to be more connected to your children.
Most of all: HAVE FUN! It’s supposed to be fun to get to have a few moments with your kids and especially to get to have some individual time with them. If it’s not fun, try something that IS fun!
Make sure to sign up for FREE book, The Art of Familyness: 10 tips for real photos below:
Leave a reply