well…maybe just less chaos!

There have been early mornings when, for some reason, I didn’t set my alarm and we all jump out of bed and run around like there’s just been a drug bust raid at our house.  We totally look like a movie, running into each other, trying to grab a quick breakfast, running in and out of the house for this and that forgotten item.

There were other days when we would get up on time but for one unknown reason or another we would still be late!  (hear my secret tip that made all the difference at 2:15 on the video)

Hilarious. Yes.

Stressful.  Yes.

I’ve tried to fight against routines because I’ve thought that they would keep us from having fun or being creative or spontaneous.  In reality, routines, by some kind of magic-ness, make more time for family and create time for having fun together.  Plus, when you do something spontaneous…you know you’re being spontaneous!

Here is how our mornings go now (viewing this in your email or rss? click here to view the video below):

A routine doesn’t have to stay one way all of the time.  Routine can change and morph into something that works better for your family as it changes and grows.  Flexibility is such a big key with families!

No matter what stage your family is in routines based around the things you do everyday will give your kids stability and you and your spouse sanity.

Did you miss the other Familyness Minute Episodes?  Check them out here.

hilarious fun.

(if you can’t see the video above click view)

For the last couple of weeks Emmett and a friend have been working on a video for a class at school.  Everyone in the family has given their little tidbits of advice while they were constructing their rap.  At the same time we were trying to make sense of the concept the two of them had in their heads and wondering what they were hoping to accomplish.

At one point we were making lists of the top pop culture stuff out there (the assignment: remix the school’s alma mater incorporating pop culture) and Emmett and Aaron still held to their original idea of a rap video.  There were a couple of long recording days to get all of the pictures and video bits that they wanted.  There was also a lot laughing.

Emmett and I stayed up until late until the early morning. He was editing the video clips and pulling everything together to accomplish in final form what their dream was for the project while I chimed in with my two cents.

As all of this was happening for Emmett’s school project I realized what fun this could be for a family.  It’s a little crazy and it may take a couple of weeks of family nights but it would be so fun to have in your family’s movie library 10 years from now!  It’s beyond the home movies and steps into either music video land or even a made for tv movie….

Supplies:

video camera

sheets or huge paper for a background

snacks to keep the creativity flowing

some royalty free music

costumes that fit your concept

fun attitude

a free video editing program or imovie

How to:

Come up with your concept (base it on a Taylor Swift song? The book series you’re reading at night? The story that one of your kids wrote for school? How you met and fell in love?)

Come up with a basic script and characters

Search your house for the perfectly imperfect costume for each character

Set up your background

Film your show following your script (makes sure to keep your bloopers)

Import your clips into a video editing program and have fun creating your video

After seeing how much fun it was for Emmett to make this video I’m excited for us to make a hilarious version of some song or book.  A perfect t00-hot-day-over-summer-vacation-activity!

We can all be movie stars!

Have you made a funny family video? Give us the link in the comments below!

you never know…

what you might get with this fun way to chose what you’re going to for the evening.

What you’ll need:

4 envelopes

5 slips of paper that each have a place to eat a salad

5 slips of paper that each have a place to eat an entree

5 slips of paper that each have a place to eat dessert

5 slips of paper that each have a fun activity on them

On each envelope write one of the following words:

salad

entree

dessert

activity

Insert slips of paper into each envelope their corresponding slips of paper.

As you start out on your date one of you pick (without looking) out of the salad envelope to discover where you’ll be eating a salad.  Drive to that location and eat salad.  When you’re done there pull out the entree envelope and pick where you’ll be eating your entree.

Continue to do this until you’ve chosen from each envelope.

note: there are two ways to do this date….

1. each location in the envelope can be a restaurant that you go to

2. you can make a picnic dinner with salad, an entree, and dessert and the locations can be things like: a hill, the park in the next town over, a meadow, a swing set, a rooftop, etc.

Try some ideas for activities that are pretty normal but not in normal locations:

Foursquare on a rooftop

Movie in a meadow (bring a generator)

Ride bikes in the neighborhood next to yours

Have fun with the unexpected around each corner.

Want a different date idea? Find one here.

walking in the door…

Coming home is such a relief.  Opening the door automatically feels like you can let it all hang out.

I want my kids to feel like they’re walking into a refuge of love when they cross the threshold of our home.  (Even though I talk about my kids coming home from school here it’s important to say that I do this for my husband, too, when I hear the garage door go up at the end of his work day.)

Since I work from home I get the benefit of being the person that is already in the house each day when the people I love bust in the door from work or school.

I’ve noticed that a pause in the day (and stopping my work) along with  a couple of little things can make coming home for family members feel loving and safe.  When I stop what I’m doing and throw my arms around the people I love after they’ve been away and hard at work there’s a difference in the way the rest of the evening goes.

Familyness Minute: Episode 3

(if you’re viewing this in your email box or rss click here.)

When each person feels noticed and actually seen there is more harmony in our home, each person is more helpful, and there’s a feeling of confidence that they are cared for…

And it’s refreshing for me after a long day of work to pause the day and really be with the people that I love.

Love after a long day is a wonderful thing.

What ways do you greet your spouse and kids when they arrive home?

(I’d love hear! Tell me in the comments below…)

a boys’ game.

Okay, so maybe it’s not a boys’ game…but no girl in this house is very interested in it.  Axis and Allies is a board game that Mike and Emmett used to set up on the desk in Emmett’s room for weeks at a time while they took turns playing each strategic move.

Now, it’s online!

With the discovery of the online Axis and Allies (thank you, Jay) there is non-stop obsession with whose turn it is and what tanks were taken out and which country just died the death of the Axis.

Seriously, non-stop.

It was getting annoying and aggravating.  Conversations immersed in nothing but who has an industrial complex and who took down an entire country with only how many men???

It’s high strategy.  Something Mike and Emmett love.  They’re playing it with Mike’s brother on the other side of the country and Emmett’s friend down the street.

It was bugging me the amount of time they were spending.

And then I realized…

wait a second.

This is familyness.

I’m so lucky that my husband is into what my son is into.

And that Emmett thinks it’s awesome to play this game with his Dad and his friend down the street in the same game.

And Mike gets to play the game with his brother across the country!

Relationships matter…even when they’re playing a game that seems crazy and time consuming.

Every relationship is different and soon time will pass and the days and hours and weeks of Mike and Emmett playing Axis and Allies will pass.  We’ll forget about all these weeks that they couldn’t ever stop and that each game immediately bled into another.

I took a picture.  I don’t want to forget.

Now, I smile when I see them playing and when they’re talking strategy at the dinner table…and in the car and at night when the lights are off and while making dinner and hiking on a trail and on the way to school and the second Emmett gets home from school and through texts and right before we leave on a date ….

Some day it won’t be the first thing they say to each other…

“Did you take your turn? Is it my turn?”

“Oh my gosh! You completely got the best roll ever.  You took down my whole country in one turn!”

“How did you do that with only one tank??!”

“Tell me that strategy.”

“Dad, take your turn.” (one minute later) “It’s your turn, Dad.”

Axis and Allies = Familyness

Familyness is:

Spending time together

Being interested in each other

Smiling at one another’s little idiosnycrasies

Being committed to one another

Listening

Laughing

Creative Problem Solving

What’s happening with Axis and Allies:

Mike and Emmett are spending a lot of time together

They’re very interested in what each of them does on every turn

There have been many times that Emmett will emerge from his turn with a smug smile that makes us laugh and wonder what Mike’s turn is going to look like

They’re 100% committed to playing to the end of the game

A lot of listening to figure out their best strategies

Laughing over past mistakes and silly blunders (most of the time)

Endless talk over best and new strategies

So for now, we’ll hold on to the familyness that’s happening inside Axis and Allies because someday we’ll say, “Remember when you used to play Axis and Allies 24/7?”

And instead of waiting until later to smile and see how endearing it is…I’m doing it now.

For more familyness, check out Love 15….

The everyday stuff.

After a certain number of years it can become easy to take for granted the person that you wake up next to every morning.

You start to just expect that they will do certain things, some of those things you’re glad they do and some of them have become things you manage to put up with in your all-generous-kind-and temperate-way.  (And they should be grateful for that.)  You start to ignore the good they do and snap at the things that bug you.

You still love them but the little things become a pebble in your shoe occasionally.  It’s natural for someone you’re with all of the time and know so well to start to have some ‘personality traits’ that you notice more than others.

And still, after all of these years, it’s the little things that matter.

3 Ways to Love  Your  Spouse More

1. Freely Forgive.

When we were first married it was difficult for me to quickly forgive.  I would be bugged and wanted to make sure that Mike knew it and had some time to feel really bad about it.  Mike has always been quick to forgive, forget, and move on.  His example has shown me that forgiving quickly makes life so much happier and gives you the chance to get back to the fun stuff.

2. Be Nice.

Your spouse deserves to be told ‘Please’ and ‘Thank You’ just as much as the cashier down at Food Lion.  Even when things get a little hectic around the house always remembering to say please and thank you will let them know that you appreciate and respect the things that they do to help you out.

3. Show love.

You’ve been together for years.  In the beginning you were always giving each other little cards, notes, letters, or gifts just because you were thinking of them or it was a holiday.  It’s not too late to start picking up flowers for your spouse ‘just because’, sending a text message with a love note,  making them a lunch for the next day, or warming up their towel in the dryer while they’re in the shower.  Little acts of love fill you with greater love and let your spouse know that they still hold the place in your heart that they moved into when you were married.

If you’re out of practice doing these types of things in your marriage…remember…it’s a habit and you’re just out of practice.  Start practicing!   Set an alarm, write  yourself a note, put it on your calendar, or write it on your hand to remind yourself that you want to make the person you fell in love with, all of those years ago, your VIP.

Looking for a fun date to do tonight?  Check it out here.

Love 15 is a great way to connect with your spouse everyday!

the things we dread.

Every mom in the known universe has probably had the Grocery Store Freak Out at one point or another.  I know I have.

There are times when all we can do is just drag our children from the store, deposit them in the car, and drive home.  No chance or time for negotiating, cajoling, or discussion in those situations.  Sometimes, that’s what needs to be done.

Other times our kids are getting a little crazy, not doing a great job listening, or their manners are more like caged animals (especially in public).  That’s when we know we just need to muster some patience and a little bit of thought.  For situations like these, I’ve discovered that this is the best way to approach my kids when a tweak in their behavior is all that is needed:

(if you are viewing this in your email, click here to see the video below)

What are your tips for the Grocery Store Freak out? (Share your ideas in the comments below!)

We’ve all been there…

Did you catch last week’s Familyness Minute?

unexpected fun.

Months ago we were invited to go on a boat ride across the lake to go to dinner.  Of course,  my kids were ecstatic.  They couldn’t think of a more excited transport to go eat.

It was only about a two hour trip but it made our day and it was such a treat to do something so completely different than we had ever done before.  We’re so grateful for the people who took us along!

After eating the weather was looking menacing.  While we’d been in the restaurant the storm had relentlessly poured down in sheets of rain that looked like we were standing inside a rushing waterfall.  We had talked about someone going back in the boat and coming back to get the rest of us by truck.

My kids wanted to have nothing to do with that…they all wanted to go back on the boat or not at all.  By the time we left the restaurant the rain had become a little drizzle.  We were assured this little innocent looking rain was going to feel like stinging pellets once the boat started moving in the water.

We got in the boat and within a few minutes the stinging pellets began to strike amid squeals and shrieks.  Before we were half way across the lake the rain stopped and we were able to enjoy the rest of our trip back to the shore on other side.

Even with the weather, we all loved our little excursion!

After that little adventure I wondered if we could rent a boat for the afternoon.  Before that day I thought you either owned a boat or you didn’t.  If you owned a boat  you went on the lake and if you didn’t…you didn’t.

With only a little bit of searching I discovered that we can rent a boat for the day for about $80!  We don’t ever want to own a boat of be in charge of the upkeep or storage.  We also most likely wouldn’t go out in it every weekend…which seems like the only way to make a purchase that big worth the cost.

I loved finding out that we could have such a fun adventure for less than the cost of going to Carowinds or a number of other more expensive outings.

I can’t wait to rent a boat this summer for a day of adventuring around the lake!

Boats are fun.

Have you seen the other family fun ideas?  Check them out here.

mom mentor.

I’m so excited to announce that I’m the new Mom Mentor on the Chic Critique forum!

Here is an excerpt from Chic Critique:

Did you know that there is a new section in the forum called “MomCafe”? We know that many of you are Mom Photographers, like myself. Chic Critique’s mission is to create a community within our forum so we wanted to add a section for Moms for your benefit. I’ve asked photographer, Davina Fear to be your Mama Mentor since she is such an inspirational Mom-photographer. Each week in the forum, Davina, will be sharing ideas, tips, motivation and inspiration for Moms. Read her story below: 

Go to Chic Critique for the full story. (click here)

kids that like to sleep.

There was a time when my kids were up at the crack of dawn…no matter what time they went to bed the night before.

Now…I have a hard time getting them out of bed and getting going…until I finally found a solution.

I’d tried a number of methods to get them up including their own alarm clock…which they don’t hear. I hear it and have to come into their room and turn it off. And now, I’m up and awake anyway.

Take a look at how to get your kids out of bed without feeling like a nag:

PS I also turn on a light in my kids’ rooms so they don’t think it’s just a dream that I’ve come in to wake them up for school.

What are your tips and tricks for getting your school age children out of bed with out making everyone in a rotten mood before school? I’d love to hear! Leave your ideas for us in the comments below…

Happy school days are here.