I decided that we needed to make the special price on Love 15 last for the entire month of Love.  So until February 29th you’ll be able to subscribe for $7.50/month.

Love 15 is a monthly subscription where you receive a daily email with a small idea to inspire you to connect with the people you love in fun and meaningful ways.  Each morning an email arrives in your inbox as a little reminder with an idea of a way to spend 15 minutes with your spouse, child, friend, or someone you love.

What people are saying about Love 15:

I’m officially 7 days into [the] Love 15 project.  Though I can’t say that I’ve actually done all the activities, I can say that I’m thinking differently. I’m becoming more aware of the importance of small moments.  I asked my husband in bed the other night what the “best part” of his day was, (because of one of the love 15 prompts) and he said, “Coming home!”.  That day I had made a special effort to greet his homecoming with more enthusiasm than normal (me and my little 2 year old decided to hide behind the door and yell “surprise!”.)  It was such a small thing, but it ended up to be his favorite moment of the day.  It hit me pretty hard when he said that, because I so rarely do stuff like that.  I just wanted to say thank you for putting this together.  I’m such a driven motivated person–which is good because I get a lot of things accomplished–but its bad because in my quest to be productive and efficient with work or home, I find that too often I’m efficient with people too! Thanks for helping me slow down and have a pool of ideas of very small things that can make a meaningful difference in my family life.  So loving the experience! -Brooke Snow

Learn more about Love 15 here (you can also sign up for a free day!).

familyness flashback.

It’s Presidents Day!

Our kids are out of school today so we want to have some extra fun.

Last year we talked about George Washington and Abraham Lincoln.  And made these cute little log cabins.  You can get all of the details here.  They are a little messy but super fun to make…and lick your fingers a little and maybe eat a pretzel or two or three.

While you’re making these little cabins you could spout off these little facts about Abe and George:

George Washington:

*Born: February 22, 1732

*Didn’t go to college

*General in the military

*Married to Martha Dandridge Custis and had 2 step-children and 2 step-grandchildren

*1st President of the United States

*Didn’t belong to a political party and was opposed to the idea of them

*Only president to be nominated unanimously

*Served to terms with John Adams as his vice president

*Only president to not live in the White House

*He did his own bookkeeping and kept track of every penny.  His ledgers are still around today.

*Died 2 years after his presidency ended

*Five states joined the union during his presidency: North Carolina, Rhode Island, Vermont, Kentucky, and Tennesse

*Find more facts here.

Abraham Lincoln:

*Born: February 12, 1809 in Kentucky

*Captain in the Army

*Married: Mary Todd [her parents disagreed with her marrying him because he came from a poor background] and had four sons [three of them died before Abe Lincoln]

*President number 16

*Political party: Republican

*Served 2 terms as president with Andrew Johnson as vice president

*Became a lawyer but never went to college.  He was self-taught mainly by reading

*He created a national banking system that standardized our currency

*He was the first president to be assassinated [at Ford's Theatre]

He was the first president to have a beard and was the tallest president at 6’4″

*Lincoln was fond of pets and owned horses, dogs, cats, and a turkey

*Both he and his wife suffered from depression

*Lincoln had a dream a week before his assassination about his death

*Find more facts here.

Other ways to celebrate Presidents Day:

*Read the Gettysburg Address

*Go to a Civil War Battlefield

*Make a cherry pie [George Washington's favorite pie]

*Bake an apple pie [Lincoln's favorite pie]

*Visit a historical monument or memorial

a surprise.

I had my kids take the 5 Love Languages test.  I thought I would know automatically what each of my kids’ languages would be.  A couple of them I was close (that’s how good I am at guessing what sex each of them would be before they were born…I’m not a good guesser…I wouldn’t bet on any of my guesses.)

I thought one would be Physical Touch and found out her’s is Words of Affirmation by a long shot.  Hello!!

One of my other kids I thought sure would be Quality Time but was surprised to see it tie with Receiving Gifts.

I’m excited now to be able to show them love in the ways they recognize it.  I’m also more aware now of how they give love to me.

A friend just loaned me this book, 5 Love Languages for Kids, and I am enjoying learning more about each of my kids and the way they perceive love.  I know that it doesn’t solve every problem but I’m confident that my kids will know I love them if I’m sending them love in the way they can see it.

If you’ve not had your kids take this test it’s here: children and teenagers

Have fun!

xoxo,

Davina

PS There’s always LOVE 15 for everyday and let’s have a familyness photo shoot!

today…

Valentine’s Day is here!

I don’t know about you but I always feel like it gets here too soon.  I look forward to it and it happens on the same day every year.

And still…I wait until it’s actually here (or on Valentine’s Eve) to do much about it.  We have our usual Valentine’s morning complete with candy for breakfast.

If you’re wishing for a few little last minute ideas of how to make Valentine’s day special I’ve made your wish come true compiled a little list here for you.  These ideas are not all of the expected candy and chocolates or big crafts that are all over the internet right now.  They are ways to make your true love, child, or parent feel special today, though.

25 Simple Valentine’s Day Ideas:

*Make them one of these sweet valentine’s

*When they get home from work have them sit down, take off their shoes, and give them a foot massage

*Send a text or email every hour on the hour today telling them one thing you love about them.

*Write a love letter and mail it to them today.  They won’t get it today but the postmark will be February 14th.

*Purchase this book or this book and do one thing out of it each day for the rest of the month.

*Add love notes to lunches, kitchen cupboards, jacket pockets, underwear drawers, shoes, backpacks, under pillows

*Cuddle a little longer than usual on the couch.

*Write what you felt the first time you saw them or when you knew you loved them.

*Make today all about one of the people you love, pick them up from school or work, surprise them with a picnic lunch, and do anything today that they want to do.

*When they walk in the door from school hand them a valentine that tells them why you’re glad to see them walk in the door day after day.

*Make heart shaped pancakes or use a cookie cutter to make a heart shaped lunch [sandwich, cheese, fruit leather]

*Do someone’s chores for them and leave a little heart message [cut a heart from paper and write a note to stick to the mirror you cleaned just for them].

*Get a heart-shaped pizza [Papa John's has them] and eat it at their favorite location.

*Leave a note on their windshield.

*Heart attack [cut out 100s of paper hearts] put them in their car, on their door, or all over their bed.

*Take a walk and hold hands

*Try to say thank you for things they do at least 20 times today.

*When your kids get home today have a special snack waiting for them. Leave your phone and computer off, sit and listen, and ask them to tell you about their day.

*Make their favorite dinner or their favorite foods…even if it ends up being Lucky Charms and hamburgers.

*Create a list of your favorite memories with them, share 3 of the memories from your list at dinner tonight.

*Read a book aloud together.

*Compliment them to someone else today [so that the person you're complimenting hears it].

*Get a little notebook [2"x3"-ish] and write one reason you love them on each page. Present it as a gift tonight at bedtime.

*Buy flowers at the grocery store.  Bring them home, cut them to fit in little vases, put them in canning jars or aluminium cans, place the flowers by their bed, computer, bathroom and kitchen sinks, and desk.

*Give 10 more hugs today than you normally give.

*Write a forgiveness letter to someone you’ve been needing to forgive.

 

It’s not too late to make today special.  It doesn’t have to be expensive.  I love that Valentine’s Day can be fairly simple.  We don’t exchange huge gifts to say ‘I love you’.  Instead, we try to be even more aware of doing the everyday things that we try to do all through out the year…with a tiny bit extra.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

xoxo,

Davina

PS There’s always LOVE 15 that makes a great Valentine’s gift…

Or a familyness photo shoot!

If you’re getting this in your email box you may have missed this post about a little more love.

affection.

Every family has different ways of showing affection, it’s a way to show our tenderness for one another.  It’s also one of the things that bond us to each other and help families to feel close to one another.

Research has shown that strong and healthy families are comfortable showing and giving affection to one another.

For me, I know I have to schedule affection into my daily routines so that I don’t end up going through out a day and come to the end of it and realize I’ve only been doing the chores of the day and missed the emotion…the reason why I do all of these mundane activities.  It’s because of love.

Oftentimes, I become too task oriented.  What can I mark off of my ‘to do’ list today?  How much have I marked off my ‘to do’ list?  Is it enough to feel like it’s been a successful day?

Because I know I’m like this; I become too intense on a goal or outcome and…I have to be reminded.

I have an alert on my phone that says: HUG.

Yes, it’s true.

I have to be told.

It’s become a joke now.

The alert goes off : HUG [someone].

My kids will sneakily turn it off and say something like, “You don’t want to do that alert, Mom.” And that little hint will let me know that it was my hug alert.

And so, now, it’s a game.

They take off running and I chase them down and give them a hug [even my teenager].  What started off as a reminder for someone who gets too caught up in getting things done has become a family game and the kids like to tell people that I have to have a reminder on my phone to hug the people I love.

And I say: you gotta do what you’ve got to do.

It’s working for us in kind of a silly way.

Fit affection into your daily routine in ways that feel natural for you or that  may not seem natural but that you know will improve your family life.

For example:

If you aren’t off of your computer when your kids walk in the door decide that you’ll close it 5 minutes early and be at the door with hugs when they arrive.

When your spouse walks in the door from work start winking at them from across the room to let them know that you’re glad they’re home.

There are so many fun ways to fit affection into your life.  So often, with teenagers, we start to think they don’t want affection or that you’re going to embarras them if you hug them.  Start at home to show more afftection, through hugs, a shoulder squeeze, a touch on the arm, more compliments, smiles, a wink now and then.

Choose one or two things from the list below to add to your familyness affection-ness.

Three ways to show affection:

Visible (non-physical)

winking

listening without your arms crossed

using open body language (leaning forward when someone is talking)

smiling

happy gestures (looking like you’re glad to see someone when they get home)

eye contact while they’re talking to you

putting aside whatever you’re doing to give your full attention

sitting close to them while they talk

 

Physical

shoulder squeeze

back pat

hugs

rubbing an arm

head on shoulder

holding hands

cuddling

kisses

group hug

soft touch on their face

playing with their hair (my personal favorite)

a neck/shoulder/hand massage

arm around their shoulders

linking arms

 

Verbal

saying ‘I love you’

compliments

courtesy and gratitude [saying 'please' and 'thank you']

whispering why you love them in their ear

*I curated some of this list from here and added a some things of my own

Have fun finding new ways to show affection in your daily family life.

*What are your favorite ways and tips for showing affection?

Make sure to read about Love 15 here.

Would you like to have your family photographed by me? Let’s make it happen!

tonight.

The full moon is waning.  It’s still out there and brightening up the sky and everything under it.  It’s beautiful…and a little harder to see stars.

Stars are still out there though and you’ll see some of the major constellations even with the moon showing off all her brightness.  Where we live it’s moderately cold at night.  (I say moderately because I moved here from Utah.  It is getting down to 30ish degrees though.) So you’ll want to bundle up.  A cold night usually means clear skies so there are advantages to the cold…and that you get to wrap up in a blanket and make out with someone you love (that is, if  you can still feel your lips).

Stargazing Tips:

*Bring a flashlight, blanket, hot chocolate.

*Check out a constellations book from the library or buy this one.

*Constellations move in the sky

*They are in different places depending on the season of the year.

*Best when there is no moon (next new moon: February 21st)

*Check this phases of the moon calendar before heading out if you want to go on a moonless night

Happy date night!

xoxo,

Davina

Have you gotten a chance to check out Love 15? No? Check it here!   A little idea everyday to bring more love into your life.

Love 15 Monthly Subscription

Love 15 is a monthly subscription where you receive a daily email with a small idea to inspire you to connect with the people you love in fun and meaningful ways. Each morning an email arrives in your inbox as a little reminder with an idea of a way to spend 15 minutes with your spouse, child, friend, or someone you love.

Love 15:

*One email each day

*30 ideas a month

*Each idea takes less than 15 minutes

*Only 30 cents a day, if you sign up this week, to be closer to the people you love most

*Small and simple yet powerful and manageable.

*Fun and insightful.

 

Monthly Subscription Fee:

$7.50/month (ends today, February 9th)

$12.00/month (starts tomorrow, February 10th)

 

Would you like to try one day of Love 15 for free before subscribing?

Send us your name and email below and adventure will be on it’s way to you:

What people are saying about Love 15:

“I’ve been previewing Davina Fear’s newest project, Love 15. BLOWN AWAY by it’s practicality and relevance! I’m REALLY into it. So manageable. So powerful!” -Natalie Norton, mom and photographer

“Your Love 15 emails are rocking my heart! Can’t wait to do this on the way home from school today – I love these little bits of small manageable fun…and a mom of 4 like you knows how to do *manageable*! They have a great energy and I’m so excited to see them soon become a little dash of sparkle in our afternoons and evenings.” -Melanie Mauer, mom and photographer

“This is so needed and inspired for families everywhere. I’m excited to get an email every morning with something so simple and meaningful to do with my family everyday. Such a great reminder that small things make a very big difference.” -Carol, mom

“Davina, We have been having a lot of fun with Love 15 in our lives. Family is super important to us, so having these little daily exercises has been really great. I think the penny night was the most fun!!! They ended up flying everywhere! Thank you for dedicating your life to family, not just yours, but everyone’s! xoxoxxo” -Dawn Davis, mom and photographer

Remembering summer.

Today I came across pictures that I have yet to process from a lovely little trip the girls and I took to the beach last summer.  It was filled with ocean, sand, laughing, our beach umbrella blowing away, digging, eating, and more laughing.  It was a quick and delight filled couple of days.  Happy memories…

So glad I have this to remind me.

xoxo,

Davina

my older brother.

Who am I kidding? I never had an older brother.  I dreamed of one.  I tried to talk my parents into adopting one just for me. I thought it would be the perfect way to become the Brady Bunch (but that’s another story altogether).

It would have made everything so much cooler if I had had an older brother.  One that would take me to every activity he went to and would tell his friends that I was cool.  A brother who, if necessary, would beat up anyone up who was mean to me.

So…maybe that brother doesn’t exist.  I might have been living in dreamland on that one.  Maybe.

I remember my mom talking about her older brother.  She adored him.  He was embarrassed about having her walk to school with him.  But don’t mess with his sister or you’ll have him to deal with.  Brothers can be crazy that way.  They want to be grown up (which means not having their family embarrass them) and at the same time they are also protective of the people they love.

Now that I have my own son, I see more and more, that the way his sisters feel about him is determined in large part by the way he treats them now.  He knows exactly what buttons to push to hurt their feelings and he’s highly adept at saying the exact thing that will send them into the stratosphere.

He also knows that a well chosen word will make their entire day.  And that when he spends a little time with them they really do think he’s the best brother. Best. Ever.

He’s learning these things.

And so kid dates became not just a chance for Mike and I to spend time with each of our kids but also an opportunity for our kids to spend time with each other.

So basically, our kids are taking each other on dates.

That sounds weird.

The kids think it sounds weird.

Maybe we need a new name…but they like the idea.

Before Emmett gets his license I want him to know what it feels like more often to be the fun big brother; to do something fun with his sisters.

So occasionally he takes an hour or so and makes their day by spending a little time with them.

On this day, he made playdough with Grace.  They got online together and searched for a recipe.  They found this one.  It took less than seven minutes to make.

They put the ingredients in a pan. Stirred it up and then tossed the playdough around until it was cooled.

For the next 30 minutes or so they sat at the table talking, laughing, making silly jokes, and creating hearts, snowmen, whatever, out of playdough.

With teenagers (and boys in particular) it may be difficult to get them on board with something like this.  It helps to give them a list of ideas.  And if that fails, you could say, “‘l’ll take you to the gas station and give you five dollars that the two of you could spend together.” Start small and let him be in charge of watching out for his sister while in the gas station and making sure she gets to buy something she wants.  This may take some baby steps.

Before Emmett leaves the house I want to create opportunities for him to be the fun big brother, to look for chances to create fun for his sisters, and for them to miss him when he goes off to college.

Happy Kid Dates!

xoxo,

Davina

Love 15: ideas each day for familyness. Check out a free day.

early morning.

I see a sliver of light coming through my window and in a split second of panic I remember that it’s Saturday morning.  I roll over to enjoy the only morning of getting to sleep in when I feel a tap on my shoulder.

It’s Gracie.

With her voice barely audible she whispers to me, “Mom, you need to get up so we can give Miriam and Emma breakfast in bed for their birthday!”  I can tell she’s already excited for the day ahead.  I love that about her.  It’s not her day and yet she is already delighted to get to create surprises for her sisters.

I pull myself out of bed and Grace can’t believe I’m taking so long.  “Mom!  They are going to wake up.  Hurry!”

We creep downstairs and start pulling out bowls and plates, cereal and milk, with spy-like stealth quietness.  I fill cookie trays with Life cereal and glasses of milk while Grace colors little cards to prop up on Miriam and Emma’s birthday trays.

Even though we are both sleepy we are also a little giddy and can’t keep our selves from doing stifled giggles over inconsequential little noises.

I text Mike and Emmett to wake up and come sing “Happy Birthday!” to Miriam and Emma with us.

Mike sleepily comes down the stairs, hugs Grace, and kisses me good morning as he takes the birthday tray for Miriam.  Cautiously, Grace slides the tray for Emma off the counter and beings to walk gingerly toward the stairs.  A glass tips like the Leaning Tower of Pisa for a second and I inhale before it falls back into place.

At the top of the stairs Emmett is out of bed with a blanket wrapped around him ready to sing.

We all bust into song and before we’re done the girls are sleepily opening their eyes and squinting at the morning light coming through the window.  Within a few minutes we are all comfortably laying across beds, laughing and chatting about the day ahead and how we can’t believe that they are really eleven.  And Mike and I keep catching one another’s eye and in that one look saying, ‘can you believe it was really eleven years ago that we held two babies in our arms?’

And we both can’t.

And this is the way every birthday at our house begins.

On every 5 year birthday: 5, 10, 15, 20…we have big birthday parties.  Friends are invited and it’s a big shin dig we plan for over a month where we all get involved in the action.

This year it’s eleven for Miriam and Emma.

So over the weekend it was just us, our little family celebrating that we are so thrilled that this two incredibly beautiful and such vibrant personalities were born,  are part of our family and are here, on this earth, making our lives that much happier.

xoxo,

Davina

What are some of your birthday traditions?