February 12, 2013

Love is a Verb.

(thank you to millie holloman for this awesome picture!)

love happens even when it’s not easy.

We rush out the door, backpacks banging against the table as everyone rushes for the car. We scramble to get our seatbelts clicked and then off we go.

The van fills with happy, chaotic chatter about what each of the kids will be doing at school today.

And then like that they are all at school.

I return home after the helter skelter, crazy rush and as I turn the door knob a sizzle breaks through the barrier between me and the kitchen.  The aroma of sausage fills the space and makes my stomach grumble in gratitude.

Mike is making me breakfast…a sausage and egg biscuit.

And in this moment I know that he is living like love is a verb because, to him, it is.

There are days for both of us when we are oblivious and we run around doing things that aren’t helpful to the other person.

Most often though we want to be love to the other person.

After 18 years of marriage we both have sacrificed a lot.  We empathize when the other person has had a hard day and we try really hard to appreciate the efforts we each make for our relationship.  Most of all, we want to be aware of affirming that, yes, our partner in this craziness is doing the best they can.

“My friend, love is a verb. Love – the feeling – is a fruit of love the verb. So love her. Sacrifice. Listen to her. Empathize. Appreciate. Affirm her. Are you willing to do that?”

-Stephen Covey

 

What does love do?

sacrifice: giving happily when it’s not easy or convenient

what does that mean?

helping your spouse when you want to stay on the couch, share the last candy bar, being happy to let your spouse be involved in something they love while they stay home happily with the kids, quiet acts of taking care of the house, getting a dog when you don’t care for animals, turning off the tv when your spouse wants to talk even though you’re really enjoying whatever show you’re watching, going out of your way to make a birthday extra nice especially when schedules are already crammed full, giving whatever is hardest or most inconvenient for you to give and doing it with a happy heart because you care about the person

listen: hearing, understanding, and validating what your spouse is going through

what does this mean?

giving your complete attention when your spouse is telling a story, putting away the ipad/iphone/video games/book/distraction when your spouse is talking, reflecting what they are saying with kindness and understanding, letting them have their say and not being rude or interrupting

empathize: understanding without judging

what does this mean?

listening for the feelings behind the words, instead of saying, “what are you talking about? I’m an awesome wife!” say, “I can tell you miss me and wish we could spend more time together.”, pausing before reacting, validating someone’s feelings and letting them know that they are okay to be feeling them

appreciate: noticing the other person’s qualities or what they do that makes your life better and telling them how grateful you are

what does this mean?

noticing their diligence and the way they work so hard, the way they know when to give you a hug, their loyalty to you, complimenting the things you fell in love with in the first place and seeing them as still awesome, giving credit for the things they do, becoming aware of all of the ways they make your life easier and telling them that you’re seeing those things, looking for times when they are a fun dad or a kind wife and letting your heart be filled up with it

affirm: seeing the good in someone despite their imperfections

what does this mean?

seeing the beauty in your spouse even if they’ve gained weight, encouraging the person you love to see the good in themselves even when they are having a bad day, pointing out the wonderful qualities they have always had, telling someone they are resourceful when they find ways to save money rather than viewing them as a penny pincher, thanking them for being aware of your feelings when they go out of their way to make your day easier

 

I’m so grateful to Mike for the amazing husband that he is…I’m extremely blessed to have his kindness and awareness in my day to day experience.  He is a wonderful example to me of each of these qualities.

Have you signed up for the Familyness Fort yet?

There are so many more ways to do all of these things in marriage and relationships.  I would love to hear about some of the ways you do these things in your life for the people you love! (please share in the comments)

 

Davina Fear is a date night aficionado and loves to have time to hang out with her one true love.  Coming up with fun dates is a favorite way to spend her Friday nights.  She totally got lucky in love.

Have you checked out her Familyness Photo Workshop?  The next one will be starting soon!

 

 

 

 

Posted February 12, 2013 by Davina Fear. Filed under Everyday Fun, Family Celebrations | Leave a Comment
January 29, 2013

February: The beginning of The Year of Love.

Giving what you have to others…

creates more love, in you, for them.

Falling in love is awesome!  We fall in love and get married, we fall in love with newborn babies, we fall in love with new friends, we fall in love with ideas, we fall in love with new places.

All of this love is awesome.

The hard part is to stay in love.

When we first fall in love there are so many rushes of emotion, excitement, and thrilling feelings.  We never want them to end.  But eventually, they do.  We want to keep feeling that fluttery, cool love but in time love changes.

And that’s normal.  The depth that follows becomes something even more amazing.

When we are first in love we think of the other person.  They are amazing! We want to do little things for them to make sure they know we love them.  We write notes, sweet texts, pick up their dry cleaning without being bugged, meet them at their class, make them a lunch, put notes on their windshield.

Love is a verb
It ain’t a thing
It’s not something you hold
It’s not something you scream

So you gotta show, show, show me
Show, show, show me
Show, show, show me
That love is a verb

-John Mayer

And then life comes along and changes all of that.  The people we love most get our leftover, warmed over giving.  The good stuff was given to someone else.

Even though I definitely don’t believe that February is the only month of the year for giving the people we love most our truest love, I think February is a great reminder that we want to be giving our best stuff to the people we love most.

January is always a time when we think about weight loss, organizing, being better at managing money, saying no, saying yes.  We start with lots of goals.  January makes the new year feel like the beginning of The Year of Goals.

So with February arriving in just a few days…it feels like the beginning of the Year of Love.  And I start to think about how I’m going to be so much better at loving the people I love.

Love becomes a verb the longer you love someone.  It becomes more about the being there, the listening, the caring, the little errands done without an attitude, the unseen kindnesses…

 

I start making plans about how I’m going to be so much better at:

showing my love in little ways

thinking of someone else before myself

giving away the last cookie when I want to eat it

seeing little ways to really BE with the people that matter to me

 

With the Year of Love beginning…what are some things you’re hoping to be better at when it comes to loving the people you love? (that feels like I just read it out of Dr. Suess!)

Make sure to sign up for all of the super fun stuff I send from the Familyness Fort!


Davina Fear is a Familyness Adventurer.  She enjoys a bowl of Lucky Charms occasionally.  Her favorite part of breakfast, though, is eating it with one of her favorite people.

She blogs at davinafear.com and teaches The Familyness Photo Workshop.

Posted January 29, 2013 by Davina Fear. Filed under A Happy Heart, Family Celebrations | Comment (1)
January 18, 2013

True Artist Interview with Brooke Snow

 

true artist interview.

Brooke Snow is an amazing teacher and photographer.  I’ve been blown away by her attention to creating fantastic courses and am always amazed at the vision that she has in areas ranging from photography to teaching to music to family.  She’s incredible!

I’m so honored that she interviewed me for her True Artist series!  We got to chat a bit about photography, familyness, and The Familyness Photo Workshop.

Thank you again, Brooke.  I think you are amazing and I’m incredibly thrilled that I’ve gotten the chance to know you over the past year.  You’ve been such a wonderful friend.  I’ve loved the opportunities we’ve had to encourage leaps and risks.  It’s been so exciting to have so many great things happening!

Check the interview out here:

And…in case you didn’t hear…

there’s one more chance to get in on the fun for the workshop!  Use Brooke’s code to get $30 off!  See it on her blog here.

 

Davina Fear  is a mom of twins girls and blogs at davinafear.com.  Twelve years ago she went to a twin support group.  They told her the first year with twins would be terrible.  She would hate it and not wish it on her worst enemy.  That meeting was a blessing in disguise.  She went home and vowed to love it.  She did.   Seriously.  There are a lot of people saying life is hard.  It is.  But it’s also super good.

Don’t miss The Familyness Photo Workshop starting January 20th online with Davina.  Find out what there is to love.

Posted January 18, 2013 by Davina Fear. Filed under A Happy Heart, Everyday Fun, Featured | Comments (2)
January 15, 2013

The Mother Huddle: I’m a new editor!

 

editor and writer.

I’m excited to announce that I’m the new editor for the Simply Charmed Life column on The Mother Huddle!

The Mother Huddle has lots of:

fun and useful DIY projects, free step-by-step sewing patterns and tutorials, recipes to help put a quick and delicious dinner on the table, kids crafts that will surely make you the coolest mom on the block, beauty and style advice that applies to us over the age of 18 :) , and of course the occasional “we’re in this together” parenting and lifestyle posts.

Each day of the week features a different category:

  • Monday: Make it Monday (DIY projects)
  • Tuesday: In the Kitchen (recipes)
  • Wednesday: Crafty Kids Corner (crafts for young children)
  • Thursday: Sew Be It (sewing projects)
  • Friday: Beauty and Style (just in time for date night)
  • Saturday: A Simply Charmed Life

A Simply Charmed Life delivers ways “to make our lives as women, wives, and mothers more fulfilling.  Traditions, simple ideas, and stories that might make your life a little happier. And sometimes, we are just looking for someone to relate, and say “ya, I’ve been there”.

 

 

 

 

 

I hope I’ll see you there! Click here to check out The Mother Huddle.

Here’s my most recent post: January and Little House on the Prairie

Go on over and see me there today! :)

Davina Fear is a Familyness Adventurer. Sometimes she has a good hair day in which she instagrams and her son decides to photo bomb. Awesome!

She blogs at davinafear.com and today she had a Dairy Queen Blizzard with Recee’s Peanut Butter Cups and 1/2 chocolate icecream, 1/2 vanilla…heaven.  She wants to know: what’s your favorite Blizzard?

Posted January 15, 2013 by Davina Fear. Filed under Everyday Fun | Comments (2)
January 10, 2013

The Familyness Photo Workshop is here!

The Familyness Photo Workshop from davina fear on Vimeo.

 

Are you wishing you could take better pictures of your family?

Awesome! Then I would love for you to join me for The Familyness Photo Workshop!

This is a workshop that will not only inspire your photos…it will inspire your familyness.

You’ll learn how to take great pictures of your family, get less stressed about it, have more fun, and feel more familyness.

 

We’ll talk about:

  • How to identify your family stories and know what to take pictures of to make your family photo albums more like storybooks
  • Learn story telling angles and composition
  • If you have a hard time getting great pictures of some of your kids, you’ll understand your children better so that photographs reflect who they really are
  • Figure out how to use the camera that you always have with you [your camera phone!]  to get really awesome pictures.
  • Learn how light can affect your stories no matter where you are (inside and outside)
  • Along the way you’ll discover how to create more familyness fun in your home.
  • Get my tips and secrets for making photo shoots fun for your family
  • Find out how to take natural photos of your kids and help them be comfortable in front of your camera
  • Discover how to help everyone think getting their picture taken is awesome instead of having everyone go into hiding when you bring out your camera

[see more details here]

 

Questions that I’ve been asked about this workshop:

 

What’s the course like?


Each Sunday you’ll receive a video lesson with a fun assignment for the week. On Wednesday, you’ll receive another video lesson, encouragement and an Inspiration Card.

You’ll get to be part of a private Facebook group for our workshop where you’ll get support and ideas on how to have great familyness and make great photo opportunities

Also included! Are 2 LIVE webinars where we’ll have a question and answer time together with our workshop group

 

Is this workshop for me?

Yes! If you wish you could do a better job of getting natural photographs of your family instead of the standard picture of everyone posed and smiling in front of the amusement park gates (or similar types of pictures) this is the workshop for you.  We’ll be covering how to get the real stories that happen in your family everyday…the details that you’ll miss when they’ve grown.

This workshop is for the mom who wants to take better pictures of her kids AND for the professional photographer who is struggling to get great images of their own family (either because of lack of time or frustration).

 

Will I learn how to use my brand new SLR camera and how to shoot manually?

*Learning to shoot manually isn’t the focus of this course.  Our main efforts will be on improving how you see stories, composition, and creative storytelling.  I will be offering a video tutorial on how to shoot manually with your SLR camera in the toolbox section of the workshop.  It won’t be super in depth but it will give you a basic understanding.

 

Where can I see some of your stories?

Sick Day

First Day of School

Summer Stories

Fixing the washer

Strawberry picking

Morning Adventures

Making donuts

Walking with my daughters

Doing the dishes

Tennis: daddy/daughter

 

I’m so excited to have you join me on January 20, 2013 for the first day of class!

The Familyness Photo Workshop:

$297

Register here:
Add to Cart

 

 

 

 

Davina Fear is a Familyness Adventurer. She enjoys Friday Night Dates with Hot Guy, occasionally forgets to eat lunch, and loves her baking class with Emma.

She blogs at davinafear.com.  She’s obsessed with making this workshop awesome and she finally finished reading “Wild” by Cheryl Strayed.

Posted January 10, 2013 by Davina Fear. Filed under A Happy Heart, A Year of Familyness, Familyness Minute, Featured | Comments (5)
Past Adventure, please Next Adventure, please