The alarm went off at 5:40am.
I had to get up.
Almost a month ago I committed to myself that I would get up and going walking and mix in some sprints to get my metabolism jump started again.
I had decided that there was time in the morning while the kids were getting dressed.
There was time between the dressing and family prayer and scriptures. I could go exercise instead of waiting around for everyone to be ready.
I went alone that first morning.
The quiet, cool morning was beautiful. It gave me time to think, meditate, pray, and get myself ready for the day ahead.
That same afternoon the girls found out about what I was doing. They wanted to go too. They asked me to wake them up the next morning.
I said I would. I didn’t think they would.
But they did.
And every morning since them (except one) they have.
I thought I was not going to like it. I thought they would complain and not keep up. I though I would end up with no time to think…
Okay…that last thing…that part is true.
But the other parts…the not keeping up and the complaining. They aren’t true.
They look forward to the time we have together…
and so do I.
I get out of bed that early to hear about details at school involving friends, how they feel about life, finding an amazing moth in the middle of the road that we thought was a gravity-defying leaf. And to see dinosaur clouds, dog skeleton clouds chasing food, flocks of seagulls clouds, and to feel enthusiasm that no one would need coffee to be invigorated by…
There is leaping and bouncing and jumping and non-stop chatting.
There are also quiet moments when none of us say anything and there is Emma who counts her steps every morning and picks up where she left off yesterday. She doesn’t count every step…only the ones where there is a long strip of new asphalt.
She’s at 6,100.
And I’m thinking back to how this happened. How did I end up waking my girls at 5:40am to go exercise?
Weeks ago I needed something. I was discouraged and depressed. It felt like I wasn’t making the difference I wanted to make. My message wasn’t being heard. It seemed like every effort was blocked. To me, nothing was working. My hope was waning. Only bad things seemed to be happening. I wasn’t seeing possibilities. Instead of growing everything was going backwards. I felt small. Very small.
I decided that, as cheesy and new age-y as it sounds, I needed some reminders. I put up, all around my house, little mantras on post it notes…things that I hoped would help me out of the funk I was in.
When the girls asked me to wake them at 5:40am one of the little post it notes I have on my kitchen cupboard rang in my head: Say, “Yes. How can we figure this out?”
And it’s changed my mornings.
Now, I exercise everyday because I know they are counting on me.
And because there’s no better way to start the day.