Dear Davina, This time of year makes me crazy. Everyone does such a good job of keeping it together and I feel like I’m falling to pieces. There’s so much to do between my business and my life, how do I keep from feeling overwhelmed by it all? -Kara Charlotte family photographer
Hello Kara, Charlotte family photographer
I absolutely know understand what you mean. You are not alone. In fact, the way you’re feeling is pretty normal.
#1: Please believe that you are not the only that doesn’t feel like you’ve got it together!
This is the time of year when everything begins to amp up even more so than it’s already been. Halloween is coming and kids are thinking about costumes and you’re wondering when you’re going to fit in the time to make something awesome (free yourself and buy one off the rack at Walmart or Target…I give you permission, I promise, it doesn’t make you less of a mom).
Each day it seems like the school is sending home another request for your child to do the school fundraiser (send in your own donation if you want to contribute and don’t worry about fundraising). More and more activities are finding their way onto your calendar between school, friends, church, your spouse’s work, and your work…
Most days, you’re feeling like you’re just hanging on by a thread. And that thread doesn’t feel super strong.
I get it.
I’ve been there.
And today. I’m with you. My ‘to do’ list feels pretty long. I’ve felt overwhelmed, too. It’s a stinky feeling…one of those that, the more attention you give it, the worse it feels.
Here are some little ways to tweak that overwhelmed feeling.
1. Act like you LOVE what you do. On a day when you want to just throw in the towel, I know this can be pretty challenging.
I’ve given this advice to mompreneurs very often! We start a business because we love it but often we don’t ACT like we LOVE it. We let the words we say about our businesses around our kids and our husbands make it seem like our businesses and being a mom are the noose around our neck or the ball and chain fighting to pull us to the bottom of the lake.
We forget to ACT like we LOVE our business and our life.
I’ve done it, you’ve done it. We’ve all done it.
Even lately, I’ve had moments of not acting like I’m loving what I’m doing when I’m talking to my husband or my family. And it’s not that I DON’T love it! It’s that I let overwhelm get to do the talking for me. That kind of talk affects my actions and my attitude.
How I Act Like I Love What I Do:
SMILE
Smile at your computer screen. Smile as you type. Smile as you write an email. Smile as you look at the photos you’ve taken.
After you’ve been smiling at all of the things you’ve been doing, say out loud to yourself, “I am so lucky I get to __________” and fill in the blank of something you’re genuinely glad you get to do.
For example: “I’m so lucky I get to sit here and work with my feet up on my chair and no one is going to come by and tell me to take my feet down.”
I know these two things FEEL silly but they work!
It’s super simple but it can help you be filled with gratefulness that you get to do what you’re doing right now.
They also open you up to the possibility of a lot more great thoughts and insights. And we love that when it comes to our life and business!
So, Kara, what’s one thing you feel lucky about? Say that out loud right now.
Do it regularly
Set a 20 minute timer and each time it goes off think of one thing to put into that sentence, “I’m so lucky I get to _________.”
It takes practice to Act Like You LOVE What You Do. Keep doing this little exercise everyday. Insert something into that blank that you sincerely LOVE and pretty soon your actions are going to be your reality.
You can also stand up next to your desk and give a yell about how awesome it is to get to be you, doing what you’re doing.
2. Talk about the good stuff. Especially when talking to other people. I don’t know about you, but when I get overwhelmed, I just just want to go chat with someone about it. I want to tell them how bad it is and how horrible I’m feeling and I want them to just help me wallow in my overwhelmedness (probably not a word).
I want to stay there for awhile and just feel bummed.
It doesn’t help me feel un-overwhelmed though. In fact, I usually feel more overwhelmed.
If you’re going to talk to other people about being overwhelmed, give yourself a time limit. When your time limit is up, ask them to help you create a plan of action so you can get moving.
Sometimes, you just need to steer clear of talking about overwhelm at all. Staying focused on the genuinely good stuff that’s been happening or looking at how far you’ve come and sharing that with people will be enough to get you re-energized about what’s ahead and your ability to manage it all.
3. Get in action. Usually, when we are overwhelmed it’s because we are afraid or we aren’t taking steps to move forward.
Action cures fear.
Get in action. Look at your list of things that are overwhelming you and create some small, doable, 20 minute tasks for each of them that will help you to move forward.
Action, even baby steps, will help you to feel less overwhelmed and closer to your goal.
Sitting around talking about how overwhelmed you feel just makes you feel more overwhelmed and more fearful about the future (believe me, I’m speaking from experience).
Getting your power back
Kara, doing these three steps will help you to feel less overwhelmed and create a more empowered you. When we allow ourselves to feel overwhelmed we are giving away our power and hoping that someone else will rush in and save the day for us. When we decide that we are going to take action we feel our power come back to us.
Ultimately, it’s a pretty awesome feeling in every area of our lives to feel like we are moving forward…familyness, business, adventure, spiritual, relationships…all of it.
Staying in overwhelm is a pretty miserable place to be.
Tiny steps matter
Deciding to take steps-even really tiny steps-puts the power back in your corner and gives you the confidence to keep moving forward.
Doing these steps one time isn’t going to solve all of your problems from now and forever going forward.
These steps are a practice. They are something you have to do everyday.
Everyday, practice acting like you LOVE what you do! Soon it will become second nature.
What are some of your ideas for days when you’re overwhelmed? What do you do to get yourself through the day or out of overwhelm?
Davina Fear is a Familyness Adventurer. She is expert at building forts and is excited about her next familyness road trip to Florida, Maine, and New Jersey! If you’d like to get your familyness photo shoot scheduled contact her HERE right away!
She blogs at davinafear.com and believes in the non-cheesy smile.
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